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Militant Islam Monitor > Satire > Are we having ' fun' damentalism yet ? Dar El Harb - The House of War - New game from the Religion of Peace

Are we having ' fun' damentalism yet ? Dar El Harb - The House of War - New game from the Religion of Peace

Can you make the world submit to militant Islam?
by Omdurman.org
Defending Western Civilization
April 20, 2004

Playing Pieces Janissary Tartar Spahi (Turkish cavalry) Mullah Dervish Bomb-wielding terrorist Airplane hijacker Camel jockey A Ferengi (Frankish, i.e. Christian) female piece moves around the board randomly. She represents Christian women whom you capture if your piece lands on her. Roll two dice, multiply by ten, and collect that amount from each of the other players when you auction the women off to the harems. Restart the Ferengi woman piece at JIHAD. Four Infidel Army pieces. If one moves into the same space as an Islamofascist piece, the latter must roll a die and retreat that many spaces: Israeli Merkava tank American helicopter gunship Polish Winged Hussar Frankish Paladin

• Fight Charles Martel at Tours, flee to any property you own in Asia Minor/ Middle East
• Tikkun.org, Michael Lerner, and Noam Chomsky: collect 50 camels
• Fight Israeli Defense Forces: retreat to JIHAD but collect no camels.
• Your Al Qaida allies perpetrate 9/11 massacre. Yankee pigs retaliate by burning down one tent on every property you own. (Palaces are demoted to four tents.)
• Capture 100 beautiful Christian women, sell them to harems for 100 camels.
• King Jan Sobieski and Polish Winged Hussars attack your army! Lose 100 camels' worth of coffee and artillery.
• Capture 500 Christian boys and sell them to the Sultan as Janissaries for 100 camels.
• Charlemagne and Frankish Paladins stop your Jihad! Retreat six spaces.
• 1453: move your piece to Constantinople. If no one owns it you may capture it, rename it Istanbul, and collect 100 camels' worth of loot.
• Mullah declares Jihad on infidel pigs. Advance five spaces.
• United Nations resolution on the Middle East: collect 50 camels.
• Set up American peace activist Rachel Corrie to be killed. Gain 20 camels in propaganda value.
• Your men kill several of their own number with celebratory gunfire after terrorists blow up a Yankee pig embassy. Pay 10 camels to hire more fanatic minions.
• Sultan promotes you to chief eunuch. Collect 50 camels in perquisites but lose ability to have children.
• OPEC raises oil prices. Collect 30 camels.
• The Russian general Aleksandr V. Suvorov attacks your army. Pay 75 camels to replace your fallen Janissaries.
• Take hostages, collect 40 camels in ransom.
• United Methodist Church's Council of Bishops sings "Kumbaya" over terrorist activities. Gain 25 camels.
• Oxfam Belgium calls for anti-Israel boycott. Collect 30 camels.
• Infidel pigette Brigitte Bardot publishes A Cry in the Silence. "I am against the Islamization of France. For centuries our forefathers ... our fathers gave their lives to chase all successive invaders from France." Lose 20 camels in bad publicity for Islamofascism.
• Don Juan of Austria sinks your navy at Lepanto! Pay 100 camels to replace your ships.
• Yasser Arafat embezzles foreign aid for Palestinians and uses the money to pay for his wife Suha's Parisian shopping trips. Gain 25 camels in stolen aid money that was meant to help the Palestinian people.

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