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Muslim "stand ups" aim to 'knock infidels dead' with Bin Laden and 9/11 'jokes'

Will "No- I'm Not a Terrorist" T - shirts be followed by "Allah Made Me Funny" bomb belts ?
September 22, 2004

September 5, 2004


The terrorist attacks on 9/11perversely led not only to an unprecedented upsurge in the number of converts to Islam, but to a proliferation of Muslim stand up comics who use the attacks as a basis for their comedy routines

.The subject of terrorism has been a source of material for Arabs such as Chicago businessman Ray Hanania. who wrote a book in 1996, entitled "Im Glad I look like Terrorist -Growing Up Muslim in North America".

Americans and even American born Muslims show marked cultural differences when it comes to the acceptance of suicide bombings and beheadings. One realm where this divergence of opinion can clearly be seen is in the realm of what is being labelled "Muslim humor" .

Even more noteworthy is that the practicioners of such humor are self proclaimed activists , who use their comedy as a form of propaganda under the guise of "bridgebuilding".

Besides being insulting and tasteless most of the most recent Muslim 'humor' contains an element of pyschological intimidation. Muslims are in effect taunting non- Muslims with their potential to commit and condone acts of terrorism.Ashar Usman's routines "Allah made me Funny" are a case in point .(see below)

The recent controversy about " Muslims Only Day" at Six Flags is also an example of humor being used to insult non Muslims: The spokesman of the Islamic Circle of North America, Adem Carroll, had this to say about the opposition to the Muslim's only event:

"Fortunately, the absence of bomb making seminars or fiery anti-American diatribes, along with the backing of Six Flags, means the event will likely continue in the future."

The fact that western audiences are willing to accept Muslims who joke about American's fear of terrrorism and distrust of Muslims is also indicative of dhimmitude and the same scewed reasoning which prompts many of those who convert to Islam based on the conclusion that "anyone would kill themselves and others for their beliefs must mean that there is something to the religion".

MIM is providing a sample from popular Muslim humor in America. Muslims in America are exploiting 9/11 and terrorism as a form of toxic 'outreach' . The so called 'Muslim comedians' who make militant Islamist butchery a subject for jokes are in fact condoning these acts by making them socially acceptable as an entertainment genre.

MIM: Stand up comedy is becoming a popular medium for Muslim comics and being billed as a "bridge to cultural understanding. Below a sampling of 'jokes' and routines by Muslim comics in the US and the UK .The fact that 'comedy' act "Allah Me Funny" was endorsed by the Council for American Islamic Relations, a Saudi funded front group for Hamas, and the Nation of Islam, proves the veracity of the old adage that "there is some truth to every joke" .

Muslims in America done nothing to repudiate militant Islamists and terrorism except issuing empty statements claiming they are the ones being victimised, appealing for understanding, and demanding that Americans respect their Islamic 'religous sensibilities' .

Muslim 'comedians' are adding ' insult to injury by turning the attacks into 'a laughing matter' in what can be termed "sociopathic humor".


MIM: LOL at killer jokes .... Ashar Usman fans convulsed with laughter at his routine which includes jokes like :"I'm Osama bin Laden's cousin," he declared. "They call me 'Bin Laughin.' "

"Usman, 28, a law school graduate and a strictly observant Muslim, does not use foul language in his routine, which was recently cited as "praiseworthy" by a Muslim religious scholar discussing whether "stand-up comedy is permissible in the Shariah," or Islamic law. He ruled that stand-up is allowed if it is "to make people laugh" and "accompanied by noble intentions..."

Lia Memon, Ishral Memon, Kareem Memon and Bhori Memon revel in
Azhar Usman's comedy act during a performance in Rockville.

(Photograph by: Bill O'leary -- The Washington Post)

(Click on URL for complete article)

Poking Fun, In Good Faith
Muslim Comics Laugh In the Face of Intolerance

By Caryle Murphy
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, April 25, 2004; Page C01

Sporting a bushy beard and black skullcap, Azhar Usman bounded onto the stage. "I'm Osama bin Laden's cousin," he declared. "They call me 'Bin Laughin.' "

His audience chuckled, clearly ready for more. They were seated at banquet tables in a Rockville office building. It was a family crowd, immigrant parents with American-born children. Some wore the traditional dress of their native lands in Africa, Asia and the Middle East. Others dressed Western.

But they all were there on this Saturday night to laugh -- at Usman, at themselves and at the tricky predicament of being Muslim in post-9/11 America.

"I get some dirty looks walking down the street," the Chicago comedian protested, in feigned amazement. "People looking at me as if I was responsible for 9/11.

"Can you believe that?

"Me responsible for 9/11?


"7-Eleven maybe?"

(MIM note : In some routines, Usman jokes about the looks he gets walking into a plane)

Across the country, Muslim comedians are hitting their stride. Like their Jewish, Irish and African American predecessors, they are embracing ethnic humor, not just to draw laughs but also to promote Muslim acceptance into mainstream American society. By entertaining, they say, they aim to dispel discriminatory stereotypes held by non-Muslims and make Muslims aware of their own, sometimes self-defeating, foibles."..

...Muslim comedians range from the very secular-minded to the rigorously observant. Reflecting Moss's religious practices, for example, alcohol will not be served when "Allah Made Me Funny" plays in such venues as the Improv...


More from Azhar Usman:

In another routine, Azhar Usman said, "I don't know if you guys heard. Some Arab kids got picked up at the airport, just because they had a geometry textbook, some rulers and a stencil. Yeah, charged with possessing Weapons of Math Instruction (WMI)." On riding a taxi in Chicago driven by a somewhat surprised white man whom Azhar Usman, the passenger tells, "I'm sorry man, nobody told you? Today is opposite day." Normally, it is Pakistanis and Indians who drive taxis, especially in Chicago and New York. He said black people were always saying that a black man can never get a fair trial in America, but these days Arabs and Muslims are walking around saying, "We can't even get a trial in America, man." To those who say that Islam was spread by the sword, Azhar Usman's response was, "Maybe if Islam was cream cheese spread on a bagel with a knife."


MIM: Hanania's 1996 book implies that terrorists can be a subject for humor.

Even more perversely amusing is the fact that millionaire businessman Hanania uses his book to complain about perceived anti Muslim discrimination in America and thinks that his book with the title "I'm Glad I Look Like A Terrorist" will "offer some solutions for improving America's perceptions of Arabs (!).

I'm Glad I Look Like a…Terrorist: Growing Up Arab in America
Ray Hanania

Urban Strategies Group Publishing, Paperback, 1996, 247 pgs.

A humorous and realistic look at the American ethnic experience by an award-winning Palestinian-American journalist. Hanania describes the subtle and not-so-subtle bigotry facing Arab Americans and offers some solutions for improving America's perceptions of Arabs.


Ray Hanania finds this ' Most Wanted' terrorist poster featuring Bin Laden and reference to airline flights is good for laughs.

The Shah of Arab Humor; the Sheik of Middle East Jokes; the King of Arab American Comedy ...

"... just off the FBI's 10 Most Wanted List ... on leave from a stint at Camp X-Ray in Cuba ... the man you hope isn't sitting next to you on your vacation flight..."


.Take my wives ... please!!!

Ray Hanania
A conspiracy of comedy ...
Email Ray Hanania with your comments


Hanania's thinks that as a non Muslim he can get away with promoting an anti semitic and pro Islamist agenda as this excerpt for his thoughts on the meaning of comedy reveal.

At an awards ceremony for Arab journalist 'comedian for peace' Hanania proclaimed:

"...: "Resistance is not terrorism. It is a right to stand up against injustice. Resistance is the only response to Sharon's Nazi government."

"...Seasoned journalist Ray Hanania, editor of the Arab American View newspaper and main conference organizer, in his address, lashed out at hardline Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon for repeated injustices committed on the Palestinian people. He described Sharon as "murderous", "blood-thirsty", and a "Nazi," saying the Likud was the first terrorist organization created in the Middle East.

Defending the Palestinian struggle for independence, Hanania said: "Resistance is not terrorism. It is a right to stand up against injustice. Resistance is the only response to Sharon's Nazi government."

Urging the community to take media seriously and support and respect Muslim and Arab newspapers, Hanania said, "We have a right to criticize and denounce the acts of the U.S. government when they are wrong."


Arab 'funny man' Hanania blames the "pro- Israel lobby" (MIM: Jews) for "the weakened Arab position" and the (Arabs) "inability to communicate"

..."And the Arab American side has never been properly understood. I have blamed that on our poorly trained spokesmen who have failed to understand the fundamentals of basic communications. Their inability to communicate has contributed to the American misunderstanding, has strengthened the pro-Israel argument and has weakened the Arab position."

"...He (Hanania) has dedicated his life to defending the rights of Arabs and Muslims in America..."


MIM: Muslimah 'comic' Shazia Mirza finds Bin Laden "absurd" and "amusing" in a recent interview she stated that:

"I was amused by comments made by his son that when he (Bin Laden) gets angy he becomes invisible".


"Muslim Makes Bin Laden a laughing matter"

Even the UK journalist who writes about Shazia Mirza, finds her take on Bin Laden amusing, calling her "the most wanted Muslim woman, because she tell jokes about Bin Laden". Mirza, herself refers to Bin Laden as "absurd".

Since September 11, she thought no one would want to listen to her at all. "I cancelled gigs for a week afterwards and on the first night I went back on stage, there was so much tension in the air; people were scared to laugh.

"I could see everyone thinking, 'Is she going to address the situation?' It wasn't until two weeks later that I did. I came on and said: 'My name is Shazia Mirza - at least that's what it says on my pilot's licence.' They stood on their feet and applauded."

She finds Osama "bin Liner" absurd, but the attempts to catch him farcical. "I was amused by comments made by his son that when he gets angry, he becomes invisible.

"He has led a ridiculous life. And now this one man has got the whole of the West running after him trying to get him out of a cave. It's quite funny when you think about it."

MIM: Mirza's humor has led her to receive awards and an appearence on the Ophah Winfrey program:Mirza refers to herself as a moderate and claims her "humor" is part of an effort to "reduce Islamophobia", promote "diversity" and explain the the hardships of being a Muslim women in Britain (!)


"Demand for the Birmingham-born comic is also now coming from two countries at the heart of international events: America and Pakistan.

In America, she has been asked to appear on Oprah Winfrey's television programme and take part in a benefit event to raise money for families of the victims of the World Trade Centre attack.

In Pakistan, where her parents were born, she is wanted for a one-woman show in Lahore. In another career boost, she collected a Young Achiever of the Year prize in this week's GG2 Leadership and Diversity Awards, which recognise success stories within the Asian community.

Mirza, who has been in stand-up comedy for little more than a year, wears a Muslim scarf when performing and speaks with a distinctive deadpan drawl. She says she is a moderate, devout Muslim, placed between two cultures and able to cast a critical, as well as a forgiving, eye on both.

"The whole point of my act," she said yesterday, "is to help reduce Islamophobia in Britain. The reason it took off was that no one had really heard what it's like to be a Muslim woman here. "


MIM: The 'Allah made me funny' crew is also a hit with militant Islamist groups in the US and Canada 'Preacher Moss' a convert to Islam, is scheduled to speak at this event in Toronto whose speakers list reads like a who's who of Islamists.Yusuf Islam, and Tariq Ramadan, who were barred from entering the US as threats to national security were also on the list of featured speakers.

"...This will be an epoch-making event. Promoting Islamic education and building Muslim unity. Other than brief speeches, there will be Halaal entertainment and stand-up comedy. Famous Islamic singer Abu Ratib, Al-Anwar Group and comedian Preacher Moss will perform live"

MIM: Antics for the sake of Allah :

"THE QUESTION has always been where can Muslims go for social growth, and entertainment by us, for us, and about us? The answer? "Allah Made Me Funny : The Official Muslim Comedy Tour." The concept of this tour is to make a comprehensive effort to provide effective, significant, and appropriate comedy with an Islamic perspective, which is both mainstream and cross-cultural."


One Muslim comic, Azhar Uzman, was even called "praiseworthy" by an Imam discussing the permissibility of stand-up comedy in the shari'a.


MIM: These excerpts from Ashar Usman's routines illustrates how Muslims aim to 'knock 'em dead'.

"With his bushy black beard and skullcap, Azhar Usman strides on to the stage with a raucous "Assalam Aleikum."

*"For those who don't know what that means, I'll explain it to you," he declares. "It means: 'I'm gonna kill you.'" The audience bursts into laughter.

*"I get a lot of dirty looks these days. I want to stop people on the street and say, `Yes, I am a Muslim! But I'm an American Muslim. I'm very patriotic! In fact, I would die for this country by blowing myself up!'"

*Azhar Usman also comments on Muslims flying on planes here these days. People are really scared. "Imagine me walking on a plane. It's not a pretty sight. People give me some dirty looks, man…. as if I was responsible for 9/11. Can you believe that, me responsible for nine-eleven? Seven-eleven (7/11) maybe.

*Sporting a bushy beard and black skullcap, Azhar Usman bounded onto the stage. "I'm Osama bin Laden's cousin," he declared. "They call me 'Bin Laughin.' "

His audience chuckled, clearly ready for more..."

*Usman, a Chicago-born Muslim of Indian descent, is a stand-up comedian, lecturer and political activist who has been nicknamed "the Ayatollah of Comedy." He bounds on to the stage with a beaming "as-salaam alaykum" (peace be upon you), which he informs us means "We're gonna kill you!!!" Deftly parodying Muslim stereotypes, he pokes fun at his appearance (thick beard and traditional black hat) with an anecdote of his experience of flying.

"Everyone is very nice to me once the plane actually lands." He begs for just one honest passenger who would turn and say "I thought you were gonna kill me! Remember when you got up to go to the bathroom? I was gonna stab you!"


MIM: Toledo Muslims website offers this T shirt for sale .

Note the ' Made in the USA' stamp in the righthand corner.

The T-shirt will doubtless be a real 'hit' at airports, and 9/11 commemorations.

Will "Allah Made Me Funny" bomb belts be next ?


Get your t-shirts now!

$Only 19.99



MIM:Toddlers too young for the "I'm Not a Terrorist" T-shirt will have to make do with this Toledo Muslims 'creeper'.

Infant Creeper

Infant Creeper




Muslim pray public funny humor
... Embarrassing experiences with prayer in public Hamzah Moin Humor. ... Imagine a non-Muslim
innocently doing their business in a public washroom while listening to ... - 28k - Cached - Similar pages


MIM: In addition to the spate of terrorism and terrorist ' jokes' the purveyors of the Islamica website find Muslim Jew hatred a subject for merriment . This appears to signal a new genre which could be labelled as the 'Der Sturmer - Sieg Halal' school of Islamo facist 'humor'.


Islamica Finally Reveals Secret!

Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 01:35 AM CST

SCHAUMBURG, IL - Feeling under pressure from the public and parents alike, the boys at Islamica revealed the source for their creative, yet controversial ideas. At a news conference held in a Suburban Chicago garage last Friday, company CEO Mirza Baig told all about the longtime coveted issue.

You're not going to like what I have to say," Baig began, "but we get our ideas from the Jews."

At that point, Baig began laughing hysterically.

"I'm just's not the Jews!"

Then with a solemn face Baig revealed, "Seriously though, the real source for our ideas is the devil."

Baig went on to explain that the company hired the devil at its inception, and has been enjoying his input since.

The news angered many Chicago-area Muslims who took to Devon Avenue in protest. Hundreds chanted 'Islamica sucks!' as police tried to keep the crowd under control.

"Islamica?" 28-year old Rehan Siddiqui shouted. "They should rename themselves Haramica!"

Siddiqui was unaware his brother, Tahami, currently holds the position as Public Relations officer at Islamica.

Local area mosques pleaded with protesters to take action.

"We can't sit back now," a local mosque leader told people. "We have to write our respective congressmen and tell them to ask Islamica stop talking to the devil or something like that."

The news did not come as a shock to many, and simply reaffirmed the older generation's longtime suspicion.

"I knew them boys were up to no good," said 58 year old Sartaj Farooqui. "I've seen their shirts, now I hear they'll be making miniskirts."

Islamica, however, sees the issue under a completely different light.

Company CIO and Webmaster Azher Ahmed was all compliments toward their evil associate. "The devil is a genius when it comes to graphic arts," Ahmed raved. "Whenever we work together, I just give him the mouse and watch in awe. I love that little guy."

The accord with the devil was news to longtime Islamica board member Mustafa Siraj.

"I didn't even know we worked with the devil," Siraj grumbled. "I just thought that voice saying 'eat pork' was inside my head."

It appears that Siraj wasn't the only member who had problems with the prince of darkness.

Former member Adnan Dhakan gave the company an ultimatum a year ago.

"I told them it was either me or the devil," Dhakan said. "I can't believe this crap."

Some current Islamica members have complained about the devil's work ethic at the office.

"I walked into the coffee room once," related board member Afeef Abdul-Majeed, "and he was putting rum in the drinking water...yeah I'm pretty sure it was rum."

Islamica Chief Financial Officer Sadat Khan states that the devil comes into his office after-hours and tells him to take from the company's funds. "I tell him to go away," Khan mentions. "I ask him 'What are you the devil or something?' to which he looks back and smiles. Then we both laugh for a while."

Because of the recent protests, Islamica states that they will look into some of the complaints they've been receiving throughout the past years.

At the news conference, many inquired what the devil looked like, to which Mirza Baig replied, "Well he looks a lot like eighties television star Webster."


Man Blames Everything on Jews

Sunday, October 03, 2004 - 01:22 AM CST

ISRAEL, IN - Witnesses stood in awe this morning when a 47 year old Egyptian man by the name of Habib Yawari lunged into a verbal assault at an area gas station.

"The damn thing wouldn't take my credit card," exclaimed Yawari, "They wanted to make me late, I know it! It's all because of the Jews!"

This marks the fifteenth incident this month where Yawari has blamed his misfortunes on the children of Israel. From having his credit declined to stubbing his pinky toe, Yawari seems to find a correlation between Jews and everything going bad in his life.

Seemingly unaware of the fact that Muslims are required to have higher regard for Christians and Jews than other non-Muslims, Yawari baffles friends and family alike.

Yawari (above) announcing his hunger strike against Jews. He nearly died of starvation while attempting one last year.
Yawari was devastated when informed that Jerry Seinfeld, his favorite comedian, is in fact a Jew. Yawari proceeded to burn all of his videotaped recordings of Seinfeld's popular television show along with his Sony VCR, which he also claims was built by Jewish manufacturers.

Yawari's ex-wife, Fatima, left him three months ago after he beat her unconscious for, in his own words, "raising our kids as Jewy, Jewy Jews."

"I only made bagels for breakfast," his ex-wife claims. "That man has some serious [expletive] issues."

Authorities were called on the scene last week as a visibly-intoxicated Yawari assaulted a bartender he suspected was Jewish. Yawari quickly fled the scene, led the officers on a wild chase and was finally arrested after attempting to go back and pick up a quarter that fell out of his pocket.


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